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Showing posts from November, 2016

Books I Read This Month

November hasn’t been a smooth sailing month for me. Well the three years younger me would have chosen to say it differently. It has been a bad month. I am no longer that person. The more life is trying to strangulate the living shit out of me the more I am unearthing hope from that pile of shit. And bloody hell, I am an adventure junkie; I get my kick from uncertainty. So despite all I made it a point to sit and read and finish the books. One of my favourite people once told me to live, read, write more aggressively when life gets harder. I am not very good at following advice but this one I had imprinted in my head.
Me Before You by Jojo Meyes “...I told him a story of two people. Two people who shouldn't have met, and who didn't like each other much when they did, but who found they were the only two people in the world who could possibly have understood each other.”
The last time I cried this much after reading a book was probably Deathly Hallows. This is the story of Willia…

Monsters under the Bed

The nights are dark, cold and long. But it's the early mornings that I fear the most. It's when the monsters under the bed come alive. They don't have long teeth or contorted face, nor do they make scary noise. Rather they look like the people I once loved. People who once made promises of never going away. People whom I fear the most. All day I put my best efforts not to remember those faces again. I sweep them under the bed where the light gives in to darkness. They wait patiently while feasting on the land beyond oblivion. The early dawn when the sunlight hits the sleepy floor they come out from under the bed. Their silent whisper sounds like betrayal. Their kiss feels like broken promises. Their laugh echoes through the walls of my crumbling sandcastle. I want to stop them from touching my face with their long, rotting fingers but I can't move. I want to scream, 'Go away fuckers!' but I have no voice.
Every morning I wake up with bloodstains on my pillow.

Quote of the Week

If there’s empty spaces in your heart, They’ll make you think it’s wrong, Like having empty spaces, Means you can never be strong, But I’ve learnt that all these spaces, Means there’s room enough to grow, And the people that once filled them, Were always meant to be let go, And all these empty spaces, Create a strange sort of pull, That attract so many people, You wouldn’t meet if they were full, So if you’re made of empty spaces, Don’t ever think it’s wrong,
Because maybe they’re just empty, Until the right person comes along.
-- Erin Hanson | Empty Spaces


Pain teaches you humility. It snatches away the last ounce of faith from your heart and watches what you can grow back in that empty, barren field out of nothing. It brings you back from the land of oblivion and shoves life back into your face. Now live! Feel every moment of it that you have been wasting away all this time with your delusional take on permanence. So just for once, stop struggling. Just stop trying to escape the inevitable. Kneel. And like the first ray of sunshine after rain give a big smile to the universe through the flood of tears drowning your face and say "Thank you. Thank you for the gift." And then wear that pain around your neck like a beautiful, star-crossed necklace dipped in poison. Let it soak through your skin every time you breathe. Let it spread through your veins. Let it sink into your bones. Embrace the burn. Enjoy the agony. Remain awake. Feel how the little stardust of pain sneaking into every last atom of your existence. Experience how th…

One More Time

Doctor Strange

“I’m not ready” “No one ever is. We don’t get to choose our time.”
I was about to take an indefinite break from blogging. Well that possibility is still in the cards. But then something strange happened. Doctor Stephen Strange. And when the new Marvel movie is in the block you blog about it, no matter how badly life is kicking you left, right and center. On Monday morning there were 8 people in total at the multiplex. Including me. I love watching movie in empty theatres. It makes me feel privileged. And also, I can freely express my emotions (read cry the fuck out in the dark). Doctor Strange gave me plenty of such chances. Well I have told here before, I take my life lessons from Marvel movies. So when Doctor Strange drawls, “Pain’s an old friend” the line between the fiction and the reality suddenly goes blurred.
Doctor Stephen Strange is an eminent neurosurgeon from New York whose life comes to a standstill after a car accident. Severe nerve damage in both hands leads the Doctor f…

Quote of the Week

"I really believe, Horton," said Mr. Abbot, "that you value canine life above human life."
"Every time!" said the Major. "Dogs can't turn round on you like human beings can. Never get a nasty word from a dog."
"Only a nasty tooth stuck into your leg," said Mr. Abbot. "What about that, eh, Horton?"
"Dogs are a good judge of character," said Major Horton.
"One of your brutes nearly pinned me by the leg last week. What do you say to that, Horton?"
"Same as I said just now!"

-- Agatha Christie | Murder is Easy

In loving memory of one of my babies who left us last week. I hope he is happy now on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Love you forever.

11.59 pm

Quote of the Week

There’s no music, no confetti Crowds don’t cheer, and bells don’t ring But you’ll know it, I can guarantee When the right one comes along
What they’re thinkin’, what you’re feelin, You no longer have to guess All those questions are finally put to rest When the right one comes along
Every single broken heart will lead you to the truth You think you know what you’re lookin for
Til what you’re lookin for finds you

-- When The Right One Comes Along (Artists: Clare Bowen, Sam Palladio)

Surviving Life

Let me begin with the disclaimer. This is NOT a self-help post. Yet, it is. Sounds perplexing? Let me explain. I am in no way trying to write a ‘‘how to cope with depression in 6 easy steps (with Getty images of beautiful model posing on the polished streets of first world nation)’’. I hate those self-help blogs. And I am THE LAST person on earth to give advice on how to live life like a fully functional human being. No, I am writing this to help me and myself only. Because my blog is the only place for me where I can write anything addressing a world full of strangers without the fear of being judged. And, it is a much better option than sending long emails and text messages to an ex who is too embarrassed and conflicted to reply you back. Or perhaps they just don’t give a shit. So let’s get started.
Avoid self-help websites and books at any cost And those online support forums where all kinds of depressed, fucked up people from all around the world gather and discuss about their fuc…