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Showing posts from January, 2016

And It All Comes Back to You

I think I am used to of being chronically depressed now. I don’t remember when the last time was I took a deep breath that didn’t hurt my lungs. Or the last time I spent a single day without feeling that painful lump in my throat. These days I can no longer fathom the actual origin my sorrow. Perhaps the original reason is lost forever like a mysterious, sunken ship with her hull full of priceless treasure that could have been the key to many great, unsolved mysteries of mankind. Is it just You? Is it the fact that even after such a long time, despite so many bitter memories, despite my vehement denial, I’m still head over heels in love with You? Hopelessly, unrequitedly. Or is it just that my life sucks to such great extent that I have failed to find a perfect substitution of You? That I am such a pathetic loser that being in love with a selfish, subhuman creature seems to be the most alluring choice to me? Or perhaps it’s not You; it’s my life as a whole that has come to a dead end…

New Year - So Far

So January passed in a whirlwind. And if I take that as a sign then it seems that this year is going to be quite an adrenaline fest for me. Needless to say, I am looking forward to it. However for past two weeks I was not being able to achieve the mental peace so that I could sit quietly in front of my laptop and blabber a few hundred words without much effort. However I am coming to that later. First let’s have a quick roundup of my resolutions that I had quite proudly bragged about here.
As expected, I could not keep my ‘no mindless shopping’ promise and I am already broke for this month. It is so difficult to resist the temptation with so many end-of-season sale events going on around. Although these days it is difficult to keep a count on the ‘seasons’ and the end of them. One of the ecommerce companies twisted the phrase and quite cleverly came up with the idea of ‘end of reason’. For people like us, it is truly an end of all reasons when it comes to shopping. Reader might wonde…

Not Another Hero Worshipper

found on
Well, what can I say? I am not a big fan of the virtuous man who dutifully beats up the bad guys black and blue and then goes back home to his mother and sings songs about true love and dances in the mustard field with the only woman he has ever been with. Perfection is too boring. What is the fun without a touch of malevolence in life? Thus the bad guy with scars on his body (or on his soul) becomes irresistible. Each scar has their own story and a lifetime can be spent exploring each and every one of them. Maybe he is a sadist. Maybe he likes to inflict pain on his girl just like he does on others. But maybe all he wants is someone who would welcome his pain and give him love and unquestionable loyalty in return. He has been looking for that his entire life but only received betrayal and cold touch of abandonment. All his life he has been neglected, or lied to. He has been brought up with a false identity. No one ever cared to tell him the truth. Then the mom…

Quote of the Week

"Do you know when you've lost something - like your favourite t-shirt or a set of keys - and while looking for it, you come across something else you once missed but have long since forgotten? Well whatever it was, there was a point where you decided to stop searching, maybe because it was no longer required or a new replacement was found. It is almost as if it never existed in the first place - until that moment of rediscovery, a flash of recognition.

Everyone has one - an inventory of lost things waiting to be found. Yearning to be acknowledged for the worth they once held in your life.

I think this is where I belong - among all your other lost things. A crumpled note at the bottom of a drawer or an old photograph pressed between the pages of a book. I hope someday you will find me and remember what I once meant to you."

- Lang Leav | Lost Things

p.s. Sorry for not posting any QOTW last week. I was too busy and distracted.

Baati Chokha

I should start with a cautionary advice that this is an awfully dreary and boring post. And the worst part is, even if I know it, I could not do anything to make it better. Readers, forgive me for once for being so dull. These days I am walking around with my finger dipped in far too many pies. And my creativity is running at an all time low.
Even though I have never lived outside Calcutta so far, I am quite proud of the cosmopolitan trait of my life. Most of my friends and acquaintances are non-Bengali and they hail from different states of India. I speak more Hindi and English than Bengali these days. And I often find myself quite intrigued by the quirky diversity of mixed-ethnic Indian culture. Be it food or fashion or language or music, I am always going through a continuous process of learning about cultures that I don’t belong from. What’s life without a mission anyway?
Out of the handful of my close friends, one is from Bihar and it’s him I first came to know about Baati Chokh…

Saras Mela 2015-16